English Summer Town

Friday, February 24, 2006

Power Plays

This is from one of the presentations in English Summertown - defining your relationships with colleagues, students and yourself.

Power Plays

The following are power plays that appear in addictive relationships.
Write YES or NO based on whether you have experience the symptoms in your relationship.
Any YES indicates some kind of trouble in the relationship. (mientras mas SI se contestan más manipulativa es la relación).


Giving advice but not accepting it

Having difficulty in reaching out and asking for support and love

Giving orders, demanding and expecting too much from others

Being judgmental, put-downs that sabotage other’s success, fault-finding, persecuting, punishing

Holding out on others, not giving what the other want or need

Making, then breaking promises, causing others to trust us and then breaking the trust

Smothering or over nurturing the other

Patronizing, condescending treatment of the other that set one partner up as superior and the other as inferior, intimidation

Making decisions for the other, discounting the other’s ability to solve problems

Putting the other in no win situations

Attempting to change the other (and unwillingness to change the self)

Attacking the other when he or she is most vulnerable

Showing an antidepedent attitude (“I don’t need you)”)

Using bullying, bribing behavior, using threats

Showing bitterness, grudge holding, or self-righteous anger

Abusing others verbally or physically

Being aggressive and defining it as assertive

Needing to win or to be right

Resisting stubbornly or being set in one’s own way

Having difficulty admitting mistakes or saying I’m sorry

Giving indirect, evasive answers to questions

Defending any of the above behaviors


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